How a Leader Reaches Flow

Whether you are a creative, artistic, business, public or otherwise thought leader, these times are chaotic and tough for anyone in a visible position. They are full of energies and signals bombarding you, so reaching flow state is incredibly hard. That's why today, I'll share with my experiences with you, hopefully helping you reach and maintain it better. Flow, here we come...

Yeah right, Gabriel Medina, that's what I've been saying all along man (photo credit Jerome Brouillet -2024-olympics)

Calm Your Nervous System

Stress is the number one enemy of flow. Yet stress cannot be avoided. Especially if you are building on your true, heartfelt ambitions, you will undergo various forms of stress, resistance and mental states that may block your work. This leads to a very simple, yet profoundly important first insight: the foremost key to flow is not to avoid stress, but to get to a mental and physical state of being that is not deeply effected by it. In other words: a calm nervous system.

My most important business partner in my storytelling practice is a Shaolin Kung Fu master. She also has an extensive career in publicity with leaders around the world, ranging from actresses who fled their country because of war, to bootstrapped scale-up leaders, top chefs, top chemists, top athletes, CEO's of listed companies, film directors and more. Most of these leaders intuitively understand that mental state is everything, especially now in this complex world.

We use two techniques - a yin and a yang - at the start of the storytelling journey journey with them. The yang part is that we actively build the core, which we'll get to in a minute. The yin part is that we do everything - from smart scheduling to carefully picking a beautiful place for meetings, to mental clarity techniques and physical Qi Gong exercises - that calms the nervous system. We have learned through trial and error, that only from that place, a truly successful core story can be build.

Changing Your Relationship With Stressors

The World Health Organization estimates that over 1 billion people (and growing) suffer from anxiety, stress, depression and burnout-related ailments today. And that's just those immediately effected by it. I have been one of them in the past (wrote a book about my experiences) , and have learned valuable lessons in that dark night of the soul. Yet even those who are on top of all these stressors, feel its ubiquitous effects just the same.

So, here's the kicker: none of the world's stressors are going to go away. So if you wish to reach actual flow, you must first accept the reality of those stressors, also sometimes referred to as 'radical acceptance' of truth (originally taught in Stoic practices by the ancient Greeks). The goal is this: to calm your nervous to the point where the stressors have little to no effect on you by changing your relationship with stressors. You learn to give them space, while not stopping you in the moment.

With calming the nervous system we don't mean just doing sports, which of course, is always a good thing to do to let go of pressures. Keep doing that, it's good for you. But what I'm talking about here is different and often called 'somatic rest'.

Techniques That Bolster Flow

Don't worry, you don't have to reach this calm state in just one day or week, or even a month or a year. But if you are serious about reaching flow, you can't avoid building somatic rest practices into your life. You'll need to keep doing them until the nervous system reaching a base level calm, where stress will not overtake flow.

It's 'choose your own adventure' on how you wish to get there. Things that have worked for me are: plenty of meditation, Qi-Gong or Tai chi, yoga nidra and yin yoga (so not 'normal' yang-yoga), breathing techniques, long walks in nature, surfing (of course!), allowing yourself to fall asleep at ridiculously early times, not too much alcohol, sugars and fats, but also not overdoing the health thing, which can add stress... You get the picture. It's all about learning to actively calm the nervous system and mentally 'stepping out of the rat race'.

The reason this is important is also simple: you'll need it to get to your most authentic core and formulating your personal, clear quest in life. We'll stay in the practical Kung Fu and energy references while we explain this further.

Authentic Energy

Imagine yourself for a moment, surrounded by a ball of energy (or holding a ball of energy), whichever color(s) you prefer, that is completely, one-hundred percent your own. There are plenty of energies outside of it that wish to come in - the pressures of daily life, the stressors of news and distractions or the expectations of other people. However, while all of these 'outside' energies remain active, for just this moment, you do not allow them to have an effect on your energy ball, which is all you.

That's your authentic energy.

Again, this doesn't have to be perfect. We're social animals, we'll always be effected by stuff outside of us and that's okay. Yet, in order to reach flow, having this 'energy ball' be strong, vibrant and lively is crucial. That is greatly helped by that calm nervous system. Yet there are plenty more steps you can take, which start with what exactly the story is, that you tell yourself.

Create Your Own Quest

Practically, we have translated that story into a 'personal quest', using the principles of storytelling to get there, such as embracing friction, focusing on the journey, and setting emotional goals that make sense for your ambitions. These drive your actions, in the same way that stories are based on friction, emotion and journeys.

A flow state requires a conscious goal because your subconscious mind needs something to 'flow towards'; a point on the horizon, an emotional state you wish to achieve. What is it that you wish to become? What is the quest that you are on in life at this moment? That goal is best described in a short couple of paragraphs of that personal quest, which I encourage you to write out for yourself.

The description of this quest needs to be emotional. It needs to be about how you feel and how you wish to feel going forward. If you only point to rational things, such as "I want to have a book finished" or "I want to sell my company for lots of money", your mind becomes target-oriented and not process-oriented, the last of which, is the fundamental requirement for flow state.

The quest can be both rational and emotional ideally: "I'll be in a great place, feeling confident and open, when I have finished writing my book". Try to avoid wanting it to be a bestseller (or similar lofty targets relevant to your case), since that will add stressors instead of reducing them.

We need the mind to fall in love with the journey, not the goal, to reach flow.

Process-Orientation by Kaizen

What you need to strive for is to move both the body and the mind into alignment with what the soul wants emotionally. We move or 'flow' towards what that ball of energy should be, that is the pure you, the 'protos' state (roughly paraphrasing Plato). This emotional emphasis will help you get 'out of the mind' and 'into intuition', which is the place where the flow state lives.

In this place of intuition you can start to create the dream-quest in little bits and pieces, while losing the anxieties that are typical for creative processes and (thought) leadership positions. The Japanese have a beautiful word for this: Kaizen. This is roughly translated as 'a thousand tiny steps' that ultimately become your giant leap, when they all come together.

When coming from your most authentic core story, the effect is that your intuitive decision making improves on all of those small steps, which is then translated into the practical: the right actions are taken to achieve flow. In another Japanese reference, this is also what the most successful samurai in individual battles - Miyamoto Musashi - has described in his poems as the secret to his success; loving the process itself, and losing the focus on the outcome.

From Living In The Now to Creating In The Now

For your mental reference, the creative flow state is similar to 'living in the now' as it is described in more holistic circles, but it's not definitely not the same. Living in the moment is your key to happiness, as it takes away depressive thoughts (the mind living in the past) and anxious thoughts (the mind living in the future). These feelings of happiness can simply be found by spending time on a beach doing nothing, free of worries, while soaking up the sun.

Those relaxation moments are important to reach flow state, which we'll get to as well. Yet there are not actively about doing the work. Creating in the moment is different, and will actually not be free from anxieties. It's a mental state that isn't about 'happiness without worries', but about 'satisfaction despite the worries'.

So, the feeling I'm describing is similar to that happy feeling, but with added drive: you'll feel like you're creating something awesome that other people will like, purchase, subscribe to and otherwise perceive as success. Yet your own success will not be governed by those reactions. You will experience feelings of awesomeness while within the journey itself, regardless of goals, targets or other people's reactions.

You'll feel it is only you, pure, in your bubble of creation.

Lose All Targets and Goals

This brings us to those targets. If you wish to remain mildly successful and comfortable in your work-life, you should strive for the targets and goals that this world demands of you. However, if you truly wish to reach flow, you should switch your mind away from goal-orientation into process-orientation.

For many of us, this seems impossible because our work demands targets. Don't worry, you can still keep those targets, especially your quest and the kaizen steps in between. But you do have to pull a psychological trick on yourself; don't focus on the targets, but focus on the enjoyment of the process itself. Target-orientation ads unnecessary pressure and is yet another mental condition that blocks flow state.

Kung Fu masters call this the difference between outer and inner mastery. Outer mastery is goal-oriented, inner mastery process-oriented. For a mental flow state, targets and goals are simply an illusion, because your subconscious and intuition - the pace where flow lives - sees no meaning in them. It's about being one with that intuition. And then enjoying the ride itself.

Here, I'm going to be slightly more blunt; if you are reading this with the genuine and express intention to reach flow, you simply will not achieve that, if you still orient your thinking towards the outcome. Your yang or push-energy is still very important. But it should be sharply focused on the moment and not on something in the future.

When the yang energy is generated from inner Kung Fu - your yin - it will greatly boost both quality and quantity of your output.

Stuff will literally flow out of your mind into your pen or product.

Downtime is Downtime - Switching Between Focus and Relaxation

The effect of inner Kung Fu is that you become very adept in switching between total relaxation and total focus. One of the practical ways to reach that is installing a firm belief system into your daily life...

...Downtime is downtime. Basta.

If you've worked hard, from a state of flow, you will reach this state again much easier, if you learn to completely relax in the moments you've picked to relax. There's a certain unconditional mindset to it; your downtime is non-negotiable. And so is procrastination, which you must learn not to punish yourself for. In relaxation or procrastination mental states, we often come up with the very best ideas, the proverbial 'Eureka' in the bath-tub. These ideas are motivation to sustain flow.

To give you a quick personal example, I work on and off about six days a week, no real crazy hours mind you, but they include plenty of hours in a weekend. Yet my Fridays are non-negiotable and include a standard visit to the spa, or a trip to the sea when the surf is up. And crucially, my entire close network is aware of this.

I also know roughly on which days I will be working on what project, and have monthly targets. These targets are not there to add pressure, but they are there to steer my mind towards flow. What they do is train my mind into a rhythm. As such, rhythm and flow state are closely related.

Perfection is another nemesis of flow

This rhythm has a nemesis called 'perfection'. I believe all of you readers will likely already know this very well: striving for perfection will have the opposite effect and cut into your flow state, as it allows the mind to 'punish' itself if it does not deliver on it. In short, perfection adds stress, breaks rhythm and stops flow. Yet allow me to describe the 'perfection trap' from an original angle that could be new to you to help you avoid it and calm the nervous system:

Perfection is a state that exists in the mind, but does not exist in nature.

Our minds are limitless, yes, and as such, can imagine 'perfection' quite easily. There are plenty of stories of Buddhist monks that go through several states of consciousness before they reach a paradox in which the mind is 'empty' of all ego and self, yet is connected to everything in the universe at the same time. This means our minds are capable of coming up with scenarios that are limitless and thus, perfect.

My advice is not to fight or resist this specific type of perfectionist thinking, since it is linked to the quest outcome you have formulated. Plus, the mind will do it anyway, so let it dream. What I advice you is to separate this mental perfection from practical reality. In the physical world, perfection can simply never be reached. Nature constantly changes, so there is always another step to take, another evolution to make, and another circumstance you will have to adapt to. Flow is about effortlessly improvising and adapting in those moments.

In conclusion, it is okay to imagine perfection... but try not to expect it.

Expect and Accept Creative Resistance

As I'm sure the readers here are also well aware of, striving for perfection is just one of the many mental blockages that you could find on the path to better flow. When choosing this flow-path you will encounter all your worst character traits and habits. These too are blockages that reduce the flow of creative energy, undermining your (thought) leadership position.

For some, these blockages may turn out to be relatively minor, yet for others - including what I experienced myself - they may turn out to be major hurdles in your path. The key practical thing to do here, is to learn to acknowledge and accept your weaknesses (which is a topic we'll discuss when looking at what Sun Tzu can teach leaders and creators in a future article). But just to be complete here, the gist of this weakness-focus is this realization:

It's never your strengths that will bring you flow, but the reduction of your weaknesses. Or in sports terms; first fix your defense, before you go on the offense.

Effortlessness & The Point of Flow

Imagine your practical flow state as a literal flow state in nature: water will flow without interruption, easily and effortlessly when there are no rocks or dams stopping its flow. When the conscious mind recognizes the rocks and dams of your creative resistances, you can remove them, and the 'river' will flow. In other words...

...Flow is experienced as effortlessness.

Remember that flow never lasts forever. But that's also not its point. The point of flow isn't a perpetual high, it is a mastery of one's own self that allows for it to always return when pressures are highest and flow is needed the most. Like Mushasi in his next battle, or the challenges modern leaders and creators face, it's all about staying calm during the storms, by focusing on the moment of creation itself.

When you learn to love and enjoy the process of your work, regardless of its goals, you change your relationship with outside stressors, fears, anxieties, creative blockages and resistances, ultimately changing the relationship with yourself, as you receive a deeper connection with the world around you, making your leadership energy bubble light up, be recognized and followed.

Reaching mastery - or Kung Fu - of one's self.

Love, as always,

Rogier

Want to reach storytelling 'Kung Fu'? Check out my book The Whole Story — The Ultimate Guide to Storytelling here ! Also check out my other articles on The Yin & Yang of Manifesting (on Medium here / TWS blog here) and Tapping Into Universal Creation Energy on Medium here / TWS blog here).

The Whole Story - The Ultimate Guide to Storytelling